When does Help become Enabling

I let a friend move in with me after her husband passed away from a two year fight with Cancer. She was at a loss on what to do with her life. In the beginning it was a give and take situation. Then I had my heart attack and my world spun out of control.

It became easy to allow her to do everything, cooking, cleaning and yard work, she does have a seventeen year old son that could help with some of it but she never asked him to do it. I crawled into my room and have not been out much. On the flip side she gives me a small amount to off set the cost of them living here, however I pay the majority of the bills. I have allowed her to crawl into her shell as well, living in her room and playing computer games. Both of us have become reclusive strangers living under the same roof.

Well we have had a disagreement and I have asked her to leave, I am hopeful that it brings her out of her shell and gets her into the world again. Meanwhile I have signed up for some writing classes and am moving out of mine as well.

I hope that we can remain friends but with the reactions since she pushed me to the point of making this decision I doubt it. I hate to lose a friend but we both need to live again.