It has been three month's it is time to share

Three months ago tomorrow my life changed out of proportion.

I returned home from physical therapy, the dog had been in the garage because it was icy outside. I let her out an she did not want to leave me and I did not understand, I finally got her outside the door and got it shut and locked and it started. Just a small pain at first, something I attributed to indigestion, we had gone out for Sushi the night before. I moved into the bedroom to get my antacid and something is not right the pain is to low. I pick up the phone and call mother I want to get her now because it is almost time for her Weight Watchers. The first question I can think of and still don't know why it popped into my head. "Mom what does a heart attack feel like?"

"Why?"

"I think I might be having one."

"I am on my way call your physical therapist."

So I hang up with mother knowing it will only take her about fifteen minutes to get to my house and I call Christie.

"Hey Christie, is there anything you did different that might cause chest pains?"

"not really, why?"

"I feel like someone is squeezing my heart."

Women are not supposed to have chest pains, hang up and call 911, and take off the steroid patches you have on they should not cause it however.

So I hang up and call 911 and here is where the day goes insane.

I unlock the front door, and then realize I am sitting in the middle of the living room with four cats sitting on me and refusing to get off, I hear the sirens the pains are getting worse and I am not sure what is going on, it feels kinda like the pressure of a kidney stone but it is in the wrong place. The guys come in and hook up electrodes and pulse ox and I am not sure what else. I am not feeling very well so I allow them to take me to the ER, I remember thinking there is no way mother is going to get me to the ER. We get to the ambulance and something is not right, I am feeling funny one attendant jumps into the drivers seat and the other gives me several pills and tells me to eat them. I have no memory of the ride, by next memory is of a person straddling me doing chest compressions, I even remember praying that they let me go. I remember getting sick and it getting in my hair then nothing.

Darkness and I can't move, I feel Alex take my hand, I remember squeezing his and hearing Dr. Peggy speaking to me, but I do not understand her really. I fade back out. Again I awake and can't move I can hear her talking to me again this time I can understand her. Wait she said respirator, what is going on. Someone tells me they are taking out the tubes but I can't talk for an hour or they will put them back. Alex comes in, I am able to write, Hi on a piece of paper for him. Wait how long have I been like this, someone gives me paper and I ask, for four days. Cloud Dancer, I need to let him know what has happened, as I become agitated, Mom tells me she has been talking to Richo on the phone, I am hopeful he has told Cloud but highly doubt it. I give my hidden email, and password to sister and write Shan, that will get his email to him.

As they take out the tubes, and I start waking up fully, I realize there is a catheter in me, I tell the nurse I want it out, they hurt, and are very uncomfortable. The nurse says it can't come out until I am able to get out of bed, there is doubt in her voice, that I don't understand, so I prove I can get up, so they remove that painful device. When they finally give me my cell phone my first call is to my lawyer explaining what is going on, he tells me that he was contacted by the other attorney, as I am speaking to him, Dr. Peggy comes in and I pause for a moment and ask her could the heart attack have been caused by Stress, she said yes and looked at me funny. I told my attorney to try to include the heart attack in the workman's comp case we were undergoing at the moment. As I hung up the phone and looked at Dr. Peggy she started to laugh. She looked to mother and said, well I can see no brain damage she seems to be thinking just fine. My chest hurts for the pneumonia, but I am recovering beyond all exceptions. They did chest compressions for an hour and twenty five minuets. They were ready to call it when my heart started beating again. They thought there might be some brain damage, I would have to learn to walk and talk again. However, God showed through and took me in hand.

Today I am walking and talking, there is a bit of memory loss, but I will over come or Adapt. I am doing this as an exercise from a writing conference and I plan to make my living in writing. In the following days I will post interviews with people in my life that lived through this fateful day with me and I am looking into making this into a story for print.