I have spent the last two days on the phone discussing the possibility of surgery with my doctors. They are not going to told me back. i know the odds are not the best, but I like them better than the alternative.
I told my room mate what was going on and got lectured by her.
I then turned to one of the two people in my life that always seem to make it better, and got huge fight it was over a different matter but I feel like there is a whole in my heart, my world is spinning out of control and there is no way to get off the ride. Everything I touched yesterday turned to vinegar in my hands. Things I have been building up to in working out in my book have fallen apart, and I am to a point of just wanting to shut down. I just want to crawl into a cave somewhere and hide. I am now to a point if someone looks at me funny I shall break down and cry.
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